how I am writing disability books while disabled
What an autumn, huh? I know we aren’t the only family riding wave after viral wave. I hope that your family is safe and healthy and able to access the medicine, sick days, and medical care that you need.
I have been hoping to write about the process of writing two adult books simultaneously for a bit, and this autumn provided the perfect backdrop because our ever-changing schedule and level of sickness reminded me far more often than I’d like that plans will change.
As a reminder, my co-author, Caroline, and I are writing a book about disabled dating called Dateable and need to turn it into our publisher at Hatchette in April. I am also, on my own, writing a book about disabled parenting called Unfit Parent, which is due to Beacon next November.
Unfit Parent is an intellectually arduous book to write. In it, I’m proposing a new way to think about disabled parenting and parenting in general, and every time I sit down to write, I have to engage my brain at 100%. Dateable is heavy at times but has some lighter sections and has involved a lot of delightful interviews. All that to say, at the end of a writing session Unfit Parent, I am both inspired and spent.
What has been working best for me, over the last five months of writing, is to toggle between the books every week or every two weeks. This way, as soon as I’m sick of thinking about one, it’s time to switch!
I have color-coded calendars that map out when I need to finish each chapter and which weeks I will spend on which book. There are many weeks devoted to revising. When someone gets sick or life gets in the way, I can adjust the calendars, but I try to stay true to the plan as much as possible.
Something that helps me stick to the plan is that I have set realistic goals for my body. Before I became disabled twelve years ago, I could push through exhaustion and work very long hours on occasion (not that anyone should do that ever). Now, I cannot cram. I was in graduate school from 2016-2020 and learned there that the only way for me to finish assignments was to start early and chip away. I could not write a paper the day before it was due. My body simply won’t allow it. If I tried, I was floored for weeks by overwhelming nausea, fatigue, fevers, and dizziness.
So, now when I set my daily writing goals, I strive to write for between 40 to 60 minutes total and do other work-related tasks for 20 to 60 minutes total. Other work-related tasks include replying to emails, research, and interviews. I never work or write for more than 20 minutes at a time and for every 20 minutes spent writing, I spend at least 20 resting. I work Monday-Friday.
It may sound surprising that I am trying to write two adult-length books 20 minutes at a time, but it is actually working. Because my daily assignments are manageable, I don’t dread them, and I don’t feel burnout (yet). I also don’t have to spend time and energy feeling guilty for not writing more. I’m writing exactly as much as I hoped to.
Despite conquerable daily goals, I still have days where symptoms of my disability make it impossible to write. I have learned in the years since my body changed that respecting my limits must be my priority. So when I’m too sick to write, I skip a day. If possible, I will write one day on the weekend to make up for it, but if not, that’s fine. Overriding my needs is not an option.
I write in the mornings because that’s what works for me. After Khalil has left our room and is downstairs eating breakfast with David, I practice French, meditate, read poetry, and then write. If I start to do other household tasks first, I’ll exhaust and distract myself, and my writing doesn’t go well. So it gets the first slot in my day. I write in bed, always.
I’m about 35% done with both books, and I am so so excited about both. It’s an incredible gift to spend my energy in this way, and I cannot wait to share them with you. I know this month’s newsletter may be pretty boring for some, but I thought it was valuable to offer up an example of non-hustle-culture working.
Next month, I will update you on our new paint colors, the duck fight I witnessed early this week, and our family’s trip to Montreal! But, for now, I have to go because my timer will go off soon, and I need to shut my eyes and listen to an audiobook to recover from writing.
Sending love and rest and moderation to you today.
